I'm sorry, mom
by FfLeentje
Summary: Check inside ;) and let me know if I should continue! Much Love Leen.
1. Chapter 1

**Well hello again! I know yet again a new story but it just popped into my head a week ago and I can't get rid off it. I know you guys want me to update _My Perfect Nightmare_ and I promise that update will come soon! Since this is the first chapter I want your opinion that it has to be a story or that I just need to delete it or post by my one shots. So the choice is up to you sweethearts ;) I also need to warn you that also this story will be M-rated after a few chapters. And I know not everyone is going to like this because in this story you don't have the lovely mother - daughter relationship but if you read it you will know why. ****\- Much Love Leen.**

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I watch as my mom and my stepfather are eating each others faces on the couch in living room. It's disgusting!

My mom turned thirty-six this week while my 'dad' is turning twenty-five next month. Yeah you see the thing there? My freaking stepfather is only seven years older than me. Saying that I was in shock when I first met him would be an understatement.

Well I can definitely see why my mom married him. He's very good looking, rich and the most friendliest man alive.

They have been married for six months now, we moved into his freaking mansion and I got a car for my birthday! So I can't complain, right?

The mom of my stepfather isn't really happy with this situation. Well scrap that she hates my mom and loves me. I think it's a little funny actually, on the Sunday dinners we have weekly at their house, she would just ignore my mother and baby me.

I can't really blame her, since my dad left my mom, she has changed. She stopped working and started to be a shopaholic. And just before her bank account crashed she met him. Hmm coincidence?

I always let myself believe it was, but now I'm not so sure anymore. The only thing she does is shopping and sucking his face and probably his dick, but like I said earlier I'm not sure.

My mom and I were always close but since my dad left that thing changed like she did. My dad moved to Miami. I see him once a year when I go visit him, and he calls me weekly or we videochat on skype. He never told me the reason he left us. But I could see the pain in his eyes when he was packing his stuff, and I still can see the pain in his eyes when I talk about my mom or my stepfather.

Tomorrow it will be Sunday. I can only groan when I think about it. That means my mom will make nasty comments about my stepfathers family while he will try to assure her they just need some time to get used to her.

Yeah, right. His sister nearly kills my mom with her glares only. While she talks to me about taking me shopping and colleges. We attended for the same college in New York. She for fashion and I for drama. I always wanted to do something like singing or acting and I hope I will be able to do that in a few years. My dad already offered to buy me an apartment in New York.

But my stepfather has one in the area of my college. So he wants me to use it, and I told him that would be great. Even more great since his parents own the apartment a cross the door and his sister will stay there. Well that's in case we get accepted.

''Eww can't you guys do that in your room?'' I asked disgusted as I hear a throaty moan come from my mother.

My stepfather pulls away immediately and even blushes while my mother gives me an annoyed look for interrupting her.

''Loren, don't you need to be with Cameron?'' My mom asks as she raises her eyebrows, making it clear that I have to give them some privacy.

''It's almost midnight.'' I state as I roll my eyes.

''So?You could have a sleepover? It's not like you're a virgin anyway.'' My mother deadpans. My stepfather looks rather shocked at this information. And I just grit my teeth. Did she really needed to say it like that?

''You know what. You're right. I think I'm just gonna do that.'' I reply harshly as I turn around and stomp my way back into the kitchen.

''Nora, was that really necessary? '' I hear my stepfather muffled voice ask.

''What? Honey, she is eighteen. When I was her age I was already married and had a kid! She needs to toughen up a bit.'' Their are more muffled words but I can't understand what they are saying.

I just grab my keys and my purse before slamming the front door shut behind me. When I step in my car I have no idea where I supposed to go this late. Cameron and Mel will probably be sleeping.

So I start driving and keep driving, and I start thinking about when I was little my mom and dad always seemed like the perfect couple. They always smiled, they cared for me and protected me from the monsters in my closet. I smile at the memory of my dad taking a flashlight and shining under my bed and in my closet every night until I was twelve to make sure there were no monsters.

After an hour of driving around the city I feel calm and head back home. When I walk in to the kitchen I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to see my very sexy stepfather standing behind me.

''Where were you?'' His voice sounds concerned and then I remember that he is married to my mother and know he probably learned it from her to fake emotions.

''Driving.'' Is all I answer as I turn back around and open the refrigerator to take a bottle of water.

''I called you like a thousand times.'' He says as he pulls the end of his hair. I have seen him do that a lot, especially when he's frustrated or nervous.

''I know. I pressed everytime on denial.'' I snap back as I hop onto the kitchen counter. I see the hurt in his eyes and know he only wants the best for me. ''Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.'' I apologize as I play with the hem of my shirt.

''No, problem. I'm just happy your home safe.'' He gives me a sad smile before coming closer to me and giving me a soft kiss on my cheek. ''Good night princess.'' He says barely above a whisper before disappearing into the hallway.

_**Princess**_

It's his nickname for me. He always calls me that. Well almost always.

''Goodnight Eddie.'' I whisper as my eyes stay focused on the door he just disappeared trough.

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**Follow me on Twitter - _FfLeentje_**


	2. Chapter 2

''Loren! Got damn it, Loren! Get your lazy ass out off the bed!'' My mother yelled as she ripped the warm sheets of my body. ''You need to get ready. Katy and Max are expecting us in an hour.'' My mother continued as she opened the curtains allowing the bright light of the sun in my room.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. What's her problem? I just need to throw on some jeans and a shirt.

''Loren! I mean it! If you aren't ready, we will leave without you!'' Mother yelled again as she walked out off my room. So I decided to get up.

Why was she always so fucking stressed about lunch? Katy and Max aren't going to change their minds even if she comes five minutes early.

I pulled on a pair of ripped jeans and my pink sweatshirt that Katy bought for me a few weeks ago. My hair looked like a bird had built a nest in it, so I made a messy bun on top of my head. It wasn't like I needed to impress someone. After pulling on my favorite white sneakers, I got downstairs.

My mom was checking her make-up into the mirror of the hallway. If she wasn't my mother I would think she was a hooker. It was hideous. The blue eyeshadow was to much just like the hot pink blush was, and the red lipstick was smeared all over her face.

But I decided not to say a thing, the last time I did that, she fucking freaked out. She yelled at me, saying I didn't know a thing about sexy clothes or make-up. So she would yet again making a fool out of herself.

Eddie was sitting on the couch in the living with his laptop on his lap. Probably working like he always does. He works and earns money and my mom buys clothes and shoes with it. Perfect marriage, right?

''Oh, you're already good to go I see? I thought your mom said you were still in bed.'' Eddie says as he sees me walking in.

''Yeah I was but I don't need to paint make-up on my face.'' I snort. I can see Eddie is trying to hide his smile but he fails miserable.

''Oh yeah before I forget there came a letter for you it's on the kitchen table.'' Eddie smiles before turning his attention back to his laptop screen.

I look on the kitchen table and see a letter from Juilliard lying on the table. I feel my heart beat faster and palms become sweaty. Om my God, this is it. With shaking hands I open the letter. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves a bit.

_Dear Loren,_

_Congratulations! It gives me tremendous pleasure to inform you that the Juilliard faculty and the Committee on Admissions have granted you admission to the …_

That was all I needed to read to scream out from happiness. I was going to Juilliard! Got damn it! I did it!

''Princess, is everything okay?'' Behind me stood Eddie with a worried expression.

''I got into Juilliard!'' His worried expression changed immediately in a huge smile.

''Oh my God Lo, that's amazing!'' Not even a second less I was wrapped in his arms.

''What happened?'' I broke free out off Eddie's arms to see my mom standing in the kitchen door with a bored expression on her face and the hideous make-up of course.

''I got into Juilliard, mom!'' I said excitedly as I showed her the letter.

''Well done sweetie.'' She didn't even look at the letter in her hands, she just laid it back on the kitchen tabled without further notice. ''Are you guys ready? I don't want to keep Katy and Max waiting.'' She said before walking out of the kitchen.

Was a hug too much? Was that woman serious? 'Well done sweetie?' That was all I got? I shook my head knowing it was the best reaction I could get out off her. I picked the letter back up and shoved it into my purse so I could read it through in the car.

With a sigh I followed my mom out, leaving a shocked Eddie behind. I didn't get him. He could date every woman he wants, and he still picks my mom. Poor guy, that reminded me I had to ask Katy if she had dropped him on his head as a baby.

As I entered the Duran household, Katy came over with a huge smile plastered on her face. ''Loren! I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it!'' And within a second Katy was suffocating me in her arms.

I wanted to ask her how she knew already but I guess that would be a little stupid. When I entered the car I had sent a message to tell the news to my dad and Adriana aka Eddie's sister. She dated Phil, the brother of my best friend Melissa. So when I had dinner for the first time with the family of Eddie, I was kind of shocked to see Adriana sitting on the table.

Of course before the whole marriage fiasco I had seen Adriana a couple of times when I was with Mel but I never said much to her besides a 'hello' and a 'goodbye'. But I had to admit I was happy that there was someone on the table with the same age and the same interests as me.

''Thank you Katy.'' I smile at her as she releases me from her arms and goes over to Eddie to greet him and yet again ignores my mom who is glued to Eddie's side.

I get another round of congrats of Aid, Max and Phil. Adriana and I start to discuss how fabulous our years in college will be. We won't be in the classes, well maybe for one or two but certainly not more than that.

When Katy is serving dessert my phone starts ringing. When I finally fished my phone out off my purse a smile comes to my face when I see it's my dad. ''I'm sorry. I have to take this it's my dad.'' I apologize as I stand up.

''Loren, you can call him back later.'' My mom snaps at me as she glares at me. She hates it when I talk about my dad.

''It's fine dear.'' Katy interject as as she shoots my mom daggers from her own. I smile at Katy knowing she will always have my back when I need her. I quickly leave the room and walk into the garden.

''Hi dad.''

''Hi sweetie! Congratulations! I'm so proud of you baby girl!'' My dad his voice brings almost tears in my eyes. I miss him so much even if I talk to him as much as I can. I always have been a daddy's girl.

''Thank you daddy. I miss you.'' I sniffle into the phone.

''I miss you too baby girl. But I will visit as soon as I can. How is everything going there?'' My dad asks. I know he is referring to my mom her craziness.

''Nothing unusual. Just mom and her drifts you know. We are having dinner with Eddie's parents now.'' I inform him.

''So she is still married to her boy toy?'' I can hear the smirk in my dad his voice and I can imagining him cock his eyebrow at this very moment.

''Yeah. The guy is smitten. I don't think he will leave her ass anytime soon.'' I sigh.

''You don't like him anymore?''

''No it isn't that, dad. It's just, he's an okay guy you know. He's twenty-five and is stuck with mom and a stepdaughter who is only seven years younger than himself. He just deserves better but I'm not going to tell the poor guy that. When he's around, she at least tries to act like she cares, you know? So we can speak of progress.'' I state. The only response I can here is areal belly laugh of my dad.

''I'm gotta go sweetheart. I'm so proud of you, and love and miss you very much.'' My dad's voice is soft and comforting something else I miss about him. How he always knows what to say or what to do to put me at ease.

''I love you too, daddy.'' And with that the line goes death.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Here is chapter 3! I didn't get much reviews on the second chapter and I was wondering if it was bad or something! Please let me know if it is! I hope this chapter will be better then! Thanl you for reading and let me know! Much Love Leen.**

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**Loren POV**

''Mom! I'm home!'' I yelled as I closed the front door behind me. I shook my heels from my feet and let my purse fall on the ground, trying to take my jacket off.

''Mom?'' I yelled again, but yet again there wasn't any response. Maybe she went out. I knew yelling for Eddie would be pointless since I knew he wasn't home. He had a big meeting or something.

His company was going to sign a contract with another firm in New York or something. All I know is that Eddie is going to make a shitload of money with it. He also told me if everything went well, he needed to go to New York for a couple of days and asked me if I liked to come with him. So he could show me the apartment he owned, and where I'll be staying during college.

When I was about to go upstairs, I heard a groan coming from the kitchen. Concern washed over me, maybe something happened to my mom and she couldn't yell for help. I quickly rushed to the kitchen, but stopped death in my tracks in the door opening.

My hand flew up to mu face to cover my mouth to stifle the gasp. My mom sat on the kitchen counter in all her glory, legs spread wide open and in between them Cameron who was pounding furiously into her.

I quickly rushed back out off the kitchen. I pulled my heels back on and picked my purse back up. As I sat in my car I took a few deep breaths trying to calm my breathing. I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I pulled out off the driveway.

How could he do that? How could she do that? Was it just a one time thing or was this a regular thing? For how long was this going on? Where there others? Had she cheated on my dad too? Where there more than just Cam? Why would Cam have sex with my mom? Am I not good enough?

Every question swim through my head, and I couldn't answer one of them. I just hoped Eddie wouldn't walk into the house when they were... ''Fuck!'' I yelled out of frustration as I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel.

I blinked my eyes furiously. I hated the fact I was crying. It wasn't like I was in love with Cameron. He was my boyfriend and I liked him, I cared for him, we had slept together but I wasn't in love with him.

Shit! What was I going to do? Confront them with it? Telling Eddie? I couldn't do that. He was actually one of the few persons I really trusted. I couldn't hurt him. But could I lie to him?

Maybe he knew?

Don't be stupid Loren! If he knew he wouldn't be married to her anymore. Or maybe... No! He doesn't know. I mean why would he stay? He was young and attractive he can have any girl, he would like.?

Maybe he was having an affair himself?

No. Eddie wasn't the type to have an affair. He would never do something to my mom like that. He loved her right? But at the other side I never thought my mom would have an affair, no less with my boyfriend.

I hated her! I hated him!

I finally stopped my car and saw where I was. _Mulholland_. I got out off my car and made my way over to the tree. I sat down and leaned my back against the tree.

I closed my eyes, but they shot quickly back open as I saw my mom and Cameron in the kitchen. A wave of nausea washed over me and I felt like I was going to be sick.

I looked over at the beautiful view in front of me. I remembered the first time of being here. Eddie had brought me to this place, to ask my permission to marry my mother.

_Stupid cow! You better had told him no! _My inner voice screamed at me.

I remember how nervous he looked. His palms were sweating, he was even stuttering. I also remember me being totally caught off guard.

Actually when I think about it I really wanted to tell him no. I wanted to scream at him actually. Telling him how stupid he was. That his money would disappear as water in the desert. That he would end up miserable like my dad did.

But instead I squeaked out a yes. I sighed and rubbed my hands furiously over my face, feeling the wetness of my tears on my cheeks. I looked at my watch and saw it was nearly ten in the evening. That meant I was here for more then three hours already.

Only then I realized how dark it was. But I couldn't care less. I wasn't planning on going home anytime soon.

I could go to Mel but I figured she would be spending the night with Adam. I could go to Aid but then I would have to explain to her what had happened, and I really wasn't going to tell her how I walked in on the wife of **her** brother having sex with **my** boyfriend.

I chuckled humorless when I thought about going to spend the night at Cam his house. _**Fucking bastard.**_

I couldn't go anywhere. I figured if I waited a few more hours my mom and Eddie would be asleep and I could slip undetected to my room. After waiting for another hour I got up and walked to my car.

When I stepped in and slammed my door shut I could hear my phone buzz. When I was about to look in my purse to find it, I decided against it. It would probably be Cam, asking when I would be coming over tomorrow.

I scoffed. He will be expecting me tomorrow, bright and early, to fucking dump him. It wasn't like we were going to last with me going to New York for College. I shook my head and started the engine.

When I parked my car. I saw there was still light coming out off the hallway. Damn Eddie would probably freaking out. He hated it when I stayed out late and didn't let him know.

Yeah weird right? My stepfather is more concerned about me then my own mother is. No I refused to call her that.

_Nora_.

More concerned then Nora.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Eddie pacing with his phone attached to his ear. And no second later I heard my phone ring in my purse.

Eddie turned around with a surprised look on his face. I sighed and placed his phone on the kitchen table.

''This is the second time this week, you disappear without telling.'' Eddie sighed as he pulled the out ends of his hair.

''Sorry?'' I said as I placed my purse next to his phone.

''Have you been crying?'' Eddie asked as he gently got a hold of my chin.

''No. I haven't.'' I pulled away from his grip.

''Don't lie to me Loren. What happened?'' He pleaded me with his eyes to tell him.

I almost laughed about how ironic this shit is. My fucking stepfather wanted to help him break his heart.

''Eddie everything is fine okay? Nothing to be worried about.'' I tried to give him a reassuring smile but saw he didn't believe me. I placed my hands on his shoulders and tip toed so I could kiss his cheek.

''Thank you for waiting up. Goodnight.'' I whispered before going back to my room.

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**Follow me on twitter → FfLeentje**

**Thank you for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys! So I hope you like this chapter. I had a little time today and thought I would write a little. **

**Loren's POV**

I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, my eyes were swollen from all the crying I had been doing. I felt like an idiot. Why was I crying for people who weren't worth my time of day?

I needed to turn my life around. I needed to break with all the people who made me feel miserable. But unfortunately that meant breaking with people who I loved dearly too. I would miss Mel, Eddie and their parents the most. I couldn't care less for Nora or Cameron.

I sat down on my desk with my elbows on it, I laid my head in my hands and pulled on the roots of my hair. I needed to figure something out. What did I wanted to do in my life? What did I want to accomplice? I always thought I had known what I wanted to do, but now I wasn't so sure anymore.

I had always dreamed of going to Juilliard but suddenly it didn't feel right anymore. I couldn't explain what I was feeling. Nothing made sense. Well that probably happens when your mom cheats on her eleven year younger husband with your boyfriend.

I groaned and let my head fall on my wooden desk. I'm eighteen, I shouldn't be dealing with this bullshit. I wanted to talk to someone who I could trust. But as pathetic it sounds, I didn't know who I could trust with this.

I knew if I would tell Mel, she would run to Eddie. Not that I would blame her. Katy and Max were out as well. But than I thought of the one man that wouldn't let me down no matter what. I quickly grabbed my phone and laid back down on my bed while I selected his number. He picked up at the second ring.

''Hi sweetheart, is something wrong?'' His voice full of concern. His voice soothed me.

''No, everything is alright.'' I replied a little hesitantly.

''Don't lie to me. You know I can see right through it.'' He chuckled a little.

''Something happened and I don't know what to do.'' The words came out as a whisper.

''What happened?'' He sounded alert. My eyes watered but I smiled a little, happy that I could count on him if I needed him.

''When I came home last nigh.'' I took a deep breath before continuing my sentence. ''I caught my mom and Cameron having sex in the kitchen.'' I rambled out in a soft voice.

''Isn't that the boy you were seeing?'' His voice sounded angry.

''Yeah well not anymore.'' I sighed as I closed my eyes.

''Did they see you?'' He asked.

''No, I left immediately. I haven't told anyone. What do I need to do?'' I was desperate for his help.

''Keep it that way, darlin'. I'll figure something out and call you back.'' Before I could answer, he hung up.

I decided to go downstairs and eat something. But when I came downstairs I regretted my decision. My mom and Eddie were sitting on the table eating breakfast.

''Good morning.'' Eddie greeted. I grunted in response, not wanting to have a conversation with neither of them

''Don't be rude Loren! The least you can do is answer.'' Nora sneered at me. I wanted to yell at her but decided to ignore her. I took a bowl out off the cabinet and filled it with cereal, before sitting down in front of Eddie.

''Is something wrong?'' Eddie asked before I even could take a bite.

''Nope. Everything is fine.'' I answered.

''You don"t have to be so rude Loren. You're eighteen, start acting like an adult.'' Nora snapped at me I couldn't control my body anymore. I stood up with such a force that the chair fell on the ground.

''Maybe you should try to act like an adult Nora! Oh, no I forgot the only thing you can do is paint your face with make-up and dress like a tramp!'' I yelled out.

I stormed upstairs and grabbed the first dress I could find. I heard my door open while I was putting on my shoes but I didn't even bother to turn around. ''What's going on Loren?'' Eddie's voice was soft.

''Nothing.'' I snapped at him as I stood up from my bed and grabbed my purse. Before I could leave my room he grabbed my arm.

''Tell me, it's okay.'' He encouraged me softly.

''No, it's not.'' I answered harshly as I pulled my arms free. I almost ran to my car and started to drive again.


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